What I have to do, is clean things up, to make the important things more efficient, so I can get more done. I have to decide what is important, and what has served its purpose and can go.
When I came out of rehab from alcohol almost two years ago, I knew I had to pursue spirituality in a way that worked for me, and to get myself in physical shape. I also had to maintain my sobriety, and I went to AA, having no real option. As the personal God I met during my longest, darkest nights, looked and felt more like Krishna than any other entity, I pursued Hinduistic studies, went down some blind allies and finally found some very helpful people at the Sri Ganesha Temple in Nashville. I’ve been attending several hours of classes there more often than not, for about a year and a half.
For fitness, there is a very good Yoga class near my work, at the Y in Brentwood, TN, where I’ve been since March, 2014. And I returned to the first group fitness that ever got me fit – Step Aerobics, of all things! – at the Downtown Y.
And I had a home puja and meditation routine that I never seem to have time to do anymore. I was a pretty busy person for a while there, and I’m almost having to force myself to slow down and reevaluate. I love the Gita and Sanskrit, but I will never be a Hindu – wrong ethnicity. I am and I think always will be an Odinist or Wotanist or Asatru or whatever. And I should be able to get the exercise I need without so much travel and class time.
So I need to reorganize my life more efficiently to get what I need out of it. Which will involve self-discipline, which has (obviously) never been my forte. And I need to address my diet, more firmly…
And reconsider: I haven’t been eating meat (except seafood) for quite a while. But I still wear leather. And does it make sense to be partly vegetarian? I think pork is gross, but the other meats do occasionally tempt me.
Just laying all this out to try to sort it. I think for once I may need to make some real resolutions. This may be the year it really matters.