This is actually a short reworking of some writing I did for a different posting elsewhere last week; but as in my current and past blogs I have periodically updated the imaginary reader on the current state and method of my meditation, and not haveing written much of anything else lately, I have cleaned this up a bit and present it below. Please note that Rune references unless otherwise noted are to the Armanen Futhark (Futhorkh).
I generally preface any meditation I do, with my own personal meditation, as a way of putting myself into the proper state and “setting the stage”; my personal meditation has evolved from participation in several different groups over the years, none of which I am active in any more for various reasons: primarily a Vaishnava sect whose leader I found to be fraudulent (see: here), but found useful for the purpose of setting up an altar and memorizing my Vaishnava prayers from the Gita, and the Rune Gild. It also involves some personal prayers that came to me during my (hopefully) final struggle in February, 2014 with the demon of addiction which had plagued me for about forty years, with breaks, and which have proven of amazing efficacy. The Vaishnava prayers, etc., have evolved visualizations which came to me in a more gnostic manner. I hesitate to reveal the exact details of some of this for purposes of privacy and potency, but might upon request.
At any rate, I found myself during my preparatory meditation last night visualizing as well the THORN Rune, and after I performed some special exercises related to the significance of the day, I spent some more time with it. My relationship with that Rune is recent and interesting. It had been suggested to me based on conversations with a friend. I think he did this both intuitively and based on my written introduction to him, in which I mentioned that I do use the pen name of Kalki Weisthor, based on the avatar of Vishnu and the Germanic occultist Kar Maria Wiligut, who sometimes used “Weisthor” as a pen name. The Weisthor component comes across from Wiligut and not so much directly by attribution to the “White Thor”, also of course I have been aware of the derivation.
As part and parcel of my giving up and off and on again involvement with Zen Buddhism and Buddhism in general which had occurred since about 1979, in 2009 I had become involved with Asatru through the Asatru Folk Assembly, which operated as an envelope around my involvement with the Rune Gild. As such I had never really given myself to a proprietary deity, but had generally considered myself to be primarily and Odinist with a tendency toward Tyr. I had never oriented myself toward Thor, both because of the what I considered his belonging to the hoi-polloi to an extent in Asatru and Odinism and for other reasons. If I had waited to choose a personal Rune for myself I may have eventually chosen AR or OS or TYR, or perhaps Othala from the Elder Futhark. So that when THORN was selected for me, assigned to me, as it were, I found the sensation curious.
A brief digression on Futharks; although I had studied the Armanen Futharkh (or Futhorkh), primarily in Von List and in Wiligut’s altered version, most of my work with Runes had been with the Elder Futhark, since my knowledge had come primarily from Edred Thorsson’s (Stephen Flowers’) work, historically based for the most part, and in fact I had done the Runic exercises from his Nine Doors of Midgaard for several years, and most of my own personal knowledge of the runes (which I have written about in my current blog site) comes from that time. I had followed his own opinion that the Armanen system of Von List was not archeologically or historically based. Since, due to my own “revelatory” experiences, I have come to see Gnostic unfolding of systems, in Von List as well as in Tolkien (of all things!) as at least as valid.
The suggestion to me of the THORN Rune from my friend began, after reflection, to bring back another experience. I had during my years of addiction, as one might imagine, several low points. During one of them, at which time I probably inclined toward despair (although I’m not constitutionally inclined to such), I was granted a series of dreams, which I came later to realise were not “dreams” in the normal sense (although I also dispute most dismissive conceptions of “just dreams”, which I will discuss elsewhere). In these dreams or experiences, whose occurrence I can not now exactly place within terrestrial chronology, I found myself sitting myself around a campfire or something such, outdoor and at night, with a group of beings who for that purpose wore the faces of people I had known since childhood, but who I now suspect wore those faces just for the purpose of inducing in me a long-time familiarity. I remember little of our specific conversation, but the overwhelming sense was that we were meeting together as a brief respite from our mission upon this earth in these lifetimes, to report back and be briefed, and for solidarity.
It is from the above remembrances that I came to know, in the last two years, that I came to this life on a mission, as part of a team from outside this existence, and that I did not have specific knowledge of this until very recently, when I have been blessed with some clarity. That assignment to me of the THORN Rune reminded me of that earlier assignment, and I suspect they were part and parcel of the same thing, and that some of the people I know now may be to some extent the earthly reflection of that “Team” with whom I was sent here.
A little on the THORN Rune itself: I have gone back and reviewed the Armanic interpretations of it in The Complete Armanen and reviewed Thurisaz in Thorsson’s works, and I realized that I had never realized the depth of its meaning of “Preserve Thyself” in terms of its meaning as a Life and Death Rune, its death-and-rebirth connotations resonating with my own double Zodiacal identity (lunar and solar signs) with Scorpio, and the more left-handed occultist side of my own nature. Now, as seeing the need to pursue my personal alchemical process, in terms of Yellow Sun/ Black Sun/ Green Ray, or Albredo, Nigredo, Rubredo into the shell of True Self in red vajra, I identify totally with the Thorn of Life and the Thorn of death. It also enables me to see more fully the Warrior role which I have been chosen, sent, assigned to play here.
Which, at my somewhat advanced age of 58, comes as a revelation not too soon, and for which I have only the sum total of my life experience and all of my “teachers” to thank. At last to know my name, why I came and with whom, is so exhilarating! There is more I could say. But for now, I need to meditate more.